We Need to Talk

[☼ Sunstorm]

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[atrb=background,http://i899.photobucket.com/albums/ac192/fireb4ashes/Arabesque-MIDDLE.jpg] I was rather disappointed at the amount of forest in this land. When I discovered that there was another area of the island lying in wait to be explored, I'd held onto the hope that there was a region with rolling hills of sand. Sadly, however, this territory that was now my home--and that term was reluctantly used, you believe me--was mostly made of water regions. There was a large stretch of coastline, one that made me wary due to the high cliffs, and then there were rolling hills of soft grasses that bordered a misty river on either side. I knew that Shyne would have to love this place, for I had already seen her overwhelming love for water. She had taken to the water like it was absolutely nothing, but it was difficult for me to even begin to wrap my mind around it. I was comfortable with hot sands, she with water. At least one of us was comfortable. I hadn't had a proper chance to talk to her since I'd joined this Realm. I was still unsure if that had even been the correct move for me, and I'd been keeping to myself in my time here. To be honest, I was rather afraid of what this meant. I was now a part of the Warriors Realm, so I was directly in the middle of this upcoming war. There was no escaping it this time; I'd managed to be a non-player in the last one, and to be honest, I couldn't even tell you what the last one was about. That was how much I'd kept to myself, and I'd liked it that way. But there was something pulling me into this war, and her name was Shyne. No, she never asked me to come join her in this place, but I felt that I had no choice. She would not listen to my reasoning, and we'd left that beach with broken hearts. After a few weeks of dealing with my own heart, I'd come to seek Serena, the wolf that had sought Shyne out. Much to my surprise, that meeting had gone rather well. I was surprised that I was here, because I had a rather rocky past. I've never gone into detail about it with any soul, and I'm not about to now, but let's just say that I wasn't an ideal creature for this kind of thing. You know, being chivalrous to the right people, kind to the right people. I'd always made mistakes, and I'd always been stuck with the wrong lifestyles. But Serena had never asked me about my past, and here I am. I wasn't even sure where I was; it was a forest area, but it wasn't a thick one. The trees were spread out, making it easy to spot another if they were around, but I was quite alone. In the spring months, there might be a large array of flowers spread throughout the area, but we were in the middle of the winter right now, so the area was rather dead looking to my eyes. I'd been getting myself used to the forest regions, so I was proud that I was able judge things like this. Though I felt a surge of pride--nothing new for me, obviously--I felt another wave of homesickness following that. I still missed Arabia. With a sigh, I slowly looked around myself. I needed to find Shyne, because we had important matters to discuss. We needed to talk about,...well, us. I'm not great with lovey dovey feelings, and I never have been, but we needed to figure out where we stood. I needed to make sure that joining this place hadn't been a mistake, and I was worrying about what would happen if this had indeed been a mistake. Would I be able to disentangle myself from this alliance? Or was I stuck here for good, until the war was over? I was uncertain, and it was this uncertainty that was gnawing at my gut. ooc:// FOR SHYNE! <3 I love our Italian and Arabian. (: Aaaaand I finally got to this post....I'm rather proud that I forced myself to do this. ^^

[ShyneOnMe]

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[atrb=background,http://i899.photobucket.com/albums/ac192/fireb4ashes/Shyne--MIDDLE.jpg] Shyne wandered aimlessly over the area that was now her home packlands. She had places to survey and keep an eye on but today she was too distracted. Normally she could push her overwhelming feelings to the side and do what needed to be done but today her hurt had finally overwhelmed her making it impossible for her to do anything other than wander. She knew the cause of all this trouble; his name was Arabesque. She still remembered their last encounter, where he’d followed her into this place after what he’d told her. Her chest squeezed tightly in pain every time she thought about it even for a moment. The male had hurt her, just like all the rest. And yet…yet she still wanted to see him, yearned to do so in fact. But she hadn’t seen even a single glimpse of him since she’d come to the gathering at Serena’s call. It was this more than anything else that made Shyne realize how foolish she’d been. She’d let herself care about someone other than herself and he’d hurt her for it. Stupid, foolish child that she was, she’d believed he’d felt something for her. What did she know anyways? What she knew was that she hurt somewhere that a Healer couldn't reach. What she knew is that even thinking about that incident or how he'd acted at the Warriors gathering made her chest hurt. She knew she was upset and she knew she was furious with Arabesque and with herself. She'd let him get close after all. He'd abandoned her, tried to talk her out of it; told her what he'd planned on doing...And then he'd shown up at the gathering asking entrace?! So now she wandered and tried to find herself again amongst all the hurt. "I deserve to feel this way. I let il mio vagabondo close to me, I let him past my defenses. It was ineveitable that I would eventually get close to him. But now I am lost within myself and I do not know what I must do next. I have faltered on my path, now I must figure out what comes next." As if her spoken thoughts of him had made him real, Shyne spotted a familiar dusty form in the distance. Shock lit pale blue eyes and her entire being froze with shock and apprehension. For a moment everything in her urged her to run quickly in the opposite direction from this male; to put space between them. But her heart started pounding at the sight of him and clenched in reaction to thoughts of not speaking to him when he was so very close. Even if it was only to torture herself more, she wanted...no needed to speak to him. Finally forcing herself to move she swiftly and silently approached at the male's back. Pausing several feet away to give the both of them space, she finally spoke up in a quiet tone that was very much unlike her. "Arabesque?" Just his name was all she spoke, and with it a world of unanswered questions. Word Count: 516

[☼ Sunstorm]

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[atrb=background,http://i899.photobucket.com/albums/ac192/fireb4ashes/Arabesque-MIDDLE.jpg] It was strange how things seemed to work out in my favor. As I thought of Shyne, and how I desperately needed to have a word with her (more than just a few words, in fact), she appeared. I did not notice her appearance until she said my name. I had been lost in my own little world, and she'd even startled me. 'Arabesque?' The skin around my hackles tensed, sort of 'jumping', in a way. I turned quickly, my eyes flaring wide as I registered who this was. After I'd gotten over the initial startlement, I registered the emotion she carried with my name. My name was all she said, and what a universe of tentative questions resided in it. My searching eyes took in her shy appearance, an emotion I hadn't seen on Shyne before. I'd seen how outspoken, angry, and hurt she had been, but never shy. And I'd never heard her speak in this tone. It scared me, down to my bones. I opened my mouth to respond to her, but I couldn't think of a proper thing to say, so slowly my jaw closed. I continued to regard her, unsure of the best thing to do. Should I approach her, and embrace her as a lover? Did she think of me that way? I wasn't even sure if I wished to think of her in the same; oh, believe me, I did. But every moment I spent with Shyne, I felt as if I were betraying Adara. Love was such a wild, conflicting emotion. I swallowed, knowing that there must be an awkward silence present, but I just didn't know what to do. And I absolutely loathed that, because I hated feeling out of control. Shyne was making me feel things I'd never felt before. I wondered if she knew of the power she held over me, and then suddenly I prayed fiercely to Allah that she was ignorant in this field. No one could have power over me except myself. I'd learned not to trust any soul, and I reluctantly extended that philosophy to lovers as well. I was the only certain thing in this world, wasn't I? Though I had mentally cracked down on myself, I couldn't help but say the following words. "Tell me, Shyne, what goes through your mind? You say my name with such strong emotions..." I trailed off, my mouth curling up into a twisted grimace, showing my discomfort. I wasn't good at this. I never had been. And I wished I was better than I was, because I felt that Shyne deserved it. ooc:// <3

[ShyneOnMe]

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[atrb=background,http://i899.photobucket.com/albums/ac192/fireb4ashes/ShyneBattle---MIDDLE.png] A slim form trembled violently from repressed emotions as Shyne took in the appearence of the male that had caused so much confusion without having to do very much at all. He wanted to know what she was thinking, wanted to know what had put such emotion in her single spoken word. How could she explain to him everything that was going through her when it was being felt so strongly she felt she might break into a million peices? The answer, she couldn't. But she would certainly try as being silent was foolish. She wasn't afraid of him. She could do this. "I wonder what it is you think you hear in my words, il mio vagabondo amato. Is it perhaps my confusion at your continued presence when I thought to never see you again? Is it perhaps the pain I feel being anywhere near you? Or the pain I feel even more strongly when you cross my mind and we are apart?" Her voice was still that same quiet tone, but now it was filled with some unnamed emotion. That she was hurting was clear in every line of her body. That he was the cause was also clear. Mentally she gave herself a shake and moved to circle the male that was only slightly larger than she was. She allowed their sides to brush as she passed him, knowing it may likely be the last time they were so close. Arabesque brought out such intense emotions in her and Shyne found that she alternately liked and disliked this fact. And yet....yet he still made her heart pound when he was near. He still made her act in ways she never had before and say things that were completely unlike her. He knew some of her most childish secrets but hadn't altered his opinion of her because of it. He knew so much of her and she so little of him. And yet....Shyne shook herself again, visably this time. She had finished her circle of the male - her subtle way of checking him for injury - and now stood again nearly nose to nose with him. He had earned her respect long ago and so she gave him some space, but she knew she was close enough that it was very likely he was uncomfortable. Which served him right. She was drowning in her emotions so he could be a little uncomfortable. He deserved it. Now she needed to decide exactly what to do with him. She didn't know the answer but knew she couldn't just walk away; not anymore. Slowly she brought her pale blue eyes up to meet his darker ones. For a moment she felt like she was drowning again as pain filled her chest so intensely that for a time she couldn't move. When the wave finally passed she spoke again, her quiet tone shaking slightly. "Arabesque why are you here? What is it that you want from me? You told me you would not be a part of a war again. You told me I was foolish to do so. Yet you came to Serena's call and joined the Warriors. You put yourself into a position that all you can do is fight. Why? Tell me this please Arabesque, because I cannot understand." Word Count: 547

[☼ Sunstorm]

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[atrb=background,http://i899.photobucket.com/albums/ac192/fireb4ashes/Arabesque-MIDDLE.jpg] I felt as if so much was on the line at this very moment. This situation reminded me of foolish, young lovers; making rash decisions, neither thinking of the future. Well, I can't say that Shyne's end reminded me of this, but I had done nothing but enforce this thought. I'd come to this strange place, thinking that I was making the correct decision. But had I? Would Shyne accept me here? We hadn't had the chance to talk, and I knew that she was stunned to realize that I was here, especially after our last encounter. I waited, watching her body language with a reserved attitude. 'I wonder what it is you think you hear in my words, il mio vagabondo amato. Is it perhaps my confusion at your continued presence when I thought to never see you again? Is it perhaps the pain I feel being anywhere near you? Or the pain I feel even more strongly when you cross my mind and we are apart?' My eyes slid downward, unable to hold the connection with hers. I had nothing to say to this, because I'd had these very same thoughts and emotions, even if I'd never tell her this. Even though I knew I should be backing off, because I had indeed dealt emotional damage, I hated that I was letting my proud stance falter. Two sides of my self were battling angrily with one another, never letting the other side getting the better of them. Out of my peripherals, I saw her moving slowly around me. I glanced up at her, though I didn't meet her eyes, and I stayed put while she completed her circle. My light colored paws prodded gently at the ground, displaying the overwhelming anxiety I felt. My ears, a bit disproportionate due to my lineage (Arabian wolves had exceptionally large ears in order to get rid of their body heat in the blazing deserts), constantly twitched, listening to every pawstep she took. She completed her circle, and now she was much closer to me than when she'd started. Our noses were so close together, my personal space highly invaded. My temper flared, though the only sign that I gave was a clench of my jaw. I didn't take a step back, for that would be a disgraceful sign of submission, but I stayed silent. Mustering up courage, I lifted my eyes, meeting her cold blue ones. once I'd seen something that resembled warmth....But they were careful now, and beyond hurt. My nostrils flared in anger; I was angry at the world, for the irrational emotion of love, and most of all, toward myself. 'Arabesque why are you here? What is it that you want from me? You told me you would not be a part of a war again. You told me I was foolish to do so. Yet you came to Serena's call and joined the Warriors. You put yourself into a position that all you can do is fight. Why? Tell me this please Arabesque, because I cannot understand.' Her words had a delicate tremor in them, exhibiting how fragile she seemed. My heart seemed to squeeze itself hard in my chest, and I found it difficult to swallow. I had to answer her, and I did. "I do not take my words back. I still feel you are foolish for venturing here....And..." I hesitated, but I said the words anyway, "And so I am foolish, too. This may very well have been the worst decision of my life. But..." Never had I been this tongue tied before. It had never been in my nature. I looked away, clearing my throat and drawing a deep breath before my eyes moved back to hers. A strange fire flared in them; whether that emotion was anger or another, brighter emotion, I was not certain. "I am very sorry that you don't understand. I don't understand it myself, why I am here....But I cannot stand being away from you. I know how rash this sounds, for it seems we hardly know the other...." I grimaced again, shifting my weight. "In the end, I came here to protect you. I still feel as if you do not understand the cruelties war brings; even if this war is much different from the one I fought, there is no difference. War is hell. And I don't want you to die because...." I swallowed, finding this very difficult to say. Terrifying and painful memories surged forward, flashing from one to the other so fast that it was hard to keep up. In the end, though, it had the same effect. I was reminded of the delicate bird-like creature that had once been mine, and her screams of agony as I came upon the scene much too late. "I don't want you to die because I wasn't there."

[ShyneOnMe]

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[atrb=background,http://i899.photobucket.com/albums/ac192/fireb4ashes/ShyneBattle---MIDDLE.png] Shyne knew she was making Arabesque nervous. It was in every movement he made and each gesture told the tale. He was as uncomfortable as she was with the emotions each brought out in the other and - strangely - this made the blonde fae feel a small bit better about her feelings for the Arab-born wolf that stood so close to her. He was watching her, she knew, even if his eyes tended to stray from her own. He wouldn't or couldn't meet her eyes, and while it did bother her she wasn't in the mood to call him out on it. What could she do then, with this situation that had the both of them so on edge? She could hardly recall her words and would not even if she could. They each had right to their own opinion but Shyne wished their opinions would stop hurting so much. When they were opposed like this, it made her chest squeeze so tightly she could barely breathe. She wanted to say so much to him; wanted to make him understand why she was so very upset with him. But what could she do? So long as she wasn't willing to make herself even more vulnerable than she already was, the answer was nothing. So long as she was being a coward and hiding from herself for fear of further hurt, this pain would continue. But then...then he spoke to her, his much missed voice filling her mind and Shyne filed it away for a time when she would no longer see him. She'd finished her check of him, assured herself he was well, and now he had decided to answer her earlier words with her own. Now he would talk and Shyne found herself holding a breath, heart pounding, as she listened. "I do not take my words back. I still feel you are foolish for venturing here....And..." When he paused Shyne released the breath she had been holding as her pale-eyed gaze was drawn to Arabesque's dark one. What he was saying made her briefly irratated but the anger faded under the rest of his words. "And so I am foolish, too. This may very well have been the worst decision of my life. But..." Now she was interested. He knew this was a bad decision yet here he was, with her. What could this mean? Shyne heart fluttered and her form shook under a sudden onslaught of terror. She just had the feeling that whatever was happening between them was going to change both of their lives forever. She was proven right not a moment later as she watched him. "I am very sorry that you don't understand. I don't understand it myself, why I am here....But I cannot stand being away from you. I know how rash this sounds, for it seems we hardly know the other...." Blue eyes watered with tears until finally Shyne moved her smaller body back a few steps from Arabesque and ducked her head to hide her overwhelming emotions. It was a sign of submission and a posistion that he could easily hurt her from. For Shyne though, it was an unconcious show of trust. It was also a rare show of weakness for the Italian-born fae, one she wouldn't show often or lightly. Truthfully she was just tired physically and emotionally everything that had been going on. She hated that she'd chosen to fight because of the reprecussions of her actions. She didn't regret decided to do the right thing, just the outcome of doing so. But her head snapped up once more, eyes wide in shocked suprise, at what came out of the Arab wolf's mouth next. "In the end, I came here to protect you. I still feel as if you do not understand the cruelties war brings; even if this war is much different from the one I fought, there is no difference. War is hell. And I don't want you to die because...." Shyne felt her entire being grind to a screeching halt as she waited. Then the words came. "I don't want you to die because I wasn't there." A soft smile lit her face at his words and she couldn't stop herself from moving back to his side and nuzzling Arabesque in a gesture that was obviously affectionete. She was still worried, but his honesty deserved what she'd given him. Moving back again to give him space, she let the smile fade from her features to be replaced by a serious expression. "No one in my short life has ever really wanted to protect me except for my mother. I know you think I don't understand and maybe I don't, but I do understand that I am very happy you decided to be here Arabesque. Even as you drive me crazy and make me often want to kill you..." She shifted slightly, then continued on before her courage failed her. "You also make me want to be more than I am. It makes me sad to think that we fight because we failed to understand one another. More so it saddens me to think one of us or neither of us could come out of this foolish war alive. But what I have lived by my entire life is that taking each moment as it comes is the way to happiness. Maybe you don't want me here, goodness knows I don't want to be here, but here we are. I wish to...I wish to also protect you Arabesque." She lifted her pale gaze to meet his so he understood she was serious. Shyne had only given her protection once before. It was a serious matter to, this thing she offered. "I wish to remain at your side for however long you'll have me there. I wish us to fight this war together to ensure we both return. And then...then I wish to explore this thing that is between us. I want to get to know you better. I want to learn your likes and dislikes, not just the things that irratate you. I want..." She couldn't put into words how much she wanted the two of them to be able to interact like other wolves did when two were interested in each other. She wanted so much from him, but her courage had failed her and her words had all dried up. But now she felt hope again. Hope that they could have a future, if only he would let them. Word Count: 1081

[☼ Sunstorm]

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[atrb=background,http://i899.photobucket.com/albums/ac192/fireb4ashes/Arabesque-MIDDLE.jpg] When I spoke of how we hardly knew each other—which is very true, even if difficult to say—her stance shifted. Her head lowered before I could glimpse the look in her eyes, and she took a few steps back, giving me proper room to breathe. I appreciated the recognition of personal space, but I was trying to figure out what was going on with her. I knew I was saying all this wrong, I just knew it, and somehow I plowed on. It had always been a challenge to express my feelings accurately through words, and before now I had never had any reason to be conscious of other’s reactions to my words. I’d never cared, and I’d even enjoyed the pain I’d inflicted on other creatures. But all that had lead up to this, where I was unintentionally hurting the very one I….I cared for. Miraculously, her head snapped up, her attention once again becoming so very focused on me that it made me feel uncomfortable. There was a strange look in those crystal-like blue eyes, but I couldn’t figure out exactly what it was. All I knew was that maybe, just somehow, there was a chance that I might be saying the right thing. It was painful to get out, particularly my last sentence. I felt as if heavy blows had been dealt to my side, hindering my efforts to breathe, but suddenly Shyne punctured my personal bubble, her muzzle touching mine in such a way that it felt as if my heart could not be contained within my chest. I did not know what to think; I was dealing with painful memories while experiencing something so heart-warming, and the two things collided angrily with the other. It was disorientating. ‘No one in my short life has ever really wanted to protect me except for my mother. I know you think I don't understand and maybe I don't, but I do understand that I am very happy you decided to be here Arabesque. Even as you drive me crazy and make me often want to kill you...’ She was happy that I was here….So I hadn’t made a mistake? Had I been right in venturing here, into this strange world where water was so terrifingly abundant? Strange, yes, that I was again thinking of water when I was here discussing these crucial matters….But the thought entered my head anyway. I could not help but allow a tiny smirk to appear on the corner of my mouth; I had felt that way about her, too, when we first met. Her ways had drove me crazy and I’d wanted to kill her as well—not literally, for I would never harm a woman. The smirk soon faded, though, as my ears stretched forward in anticipation of what she had left to say. I still had the sensation that everything was placed on the line, and this was the moment that would set our future. It was rather terrifying, to be honest. ‘You also make me want to be more than I am. It makes me sad to think that we fight because we failed to understand one another. More so it saddens me to think one of us or neither of us could come out of this foolish war alive. But what I have lived by my entire life is that taking each moment as it comes is the way to happiness. Maybe you don't want me here, goodness knows I don't want to be here, but here we are. I wish to...I wish to also protect you Arabesque.’ She appeared uncomfortable, just as I had—wait, just as I still was—but she managed to get this out as well. She thoroughly surprised me, and it was the last of it that shocked me the most. She, protect me? This was one of the moments where my upbringing proved that there were many differences between us, because I’d never felt that a woman could properly protect a man. Of course, there were very large she-wolves such as Serena, and that was another case in itself. I was thinking of when it came to Shyne and I….It was hard to think of her sheltering me, even as fiery as she was. But I held my tongue, knowing that if I messed up, I would lose her. I could not face that again. ‘I wish to remain at your side for however long you'll have me there. I wish us to fight this war together to ensure we both return. And then...then I wish to explore this thing that is between us. I want to get to know you better. I want to learn your likes and dislikes, not just the things that irratate you. I want...’ There was nothing more surprising she could have said at that moment. I actually had to twitch my ears to make sure they were working properly; I caught the twittering of a bird as I did so, and therefore I knew that I was hearing right. So she had really just said these things? And she trailed off, obviously unable to properly express herself. I knew the feeling, and all too well. I had to take some time to process it all, and I did not think this through quickly. I wanted to sit, but I remained standing, keeping up the pride in the stance. She wanted to know what I liked and what I didn’t…She wanted to be with me…Through war and all….It was difficult to process. And I had to glance away, too, as I tried to sift through everything. My eyes did move back to hers, though, and I wasn’t sure what emotion shined out of them. Yes, confusion, no doubt. But what about a stirring of love? Or kindness? Perhaps deep down, but they would have a hard time breaking through the confusion of all my feelings mized together. I swallowed, not sure of what to say from here. I had to make sure it was something good, though, because everything was being thrown out there…A slight panic tore through my stomach, and I worked to keep my breathing at a regular pace. “I want this too, Shyne. Even if I can’t put it into words properly…” I struggled again with the right words, but I knew that she would understand, because she was having the very same struggles. “I would be very glad to have you by me, even if you insist we stay here to fight this war. We can….We can protect one another.” It was very hard to say this, because, once again, I never saw a woman capable of doing the protecting. But I managed to slip it over my tongue, hoping Shyne would be happy with it. I also wanted to say I was sorry for hurting her feelings, but when I opened my mouth, the words failed to come forth. I didn’t know how to say this, nor was I sure if my pride—however damaged it might be—would allow me. Instead, I said something different. “So, Shyne, where do you wish to go from here?” I asked, my ears crooking to the side as I asked the question. “I am willing to explore this with you…This relationship thing that we have. I am willing to put aside our differences in order to do this, whatever ‘this’ happens to be. We can try not to fight…I don’t like it when we fight either.” No, I didn’t like fighting with her. It just caused too many emotions, and I didn’t want to deal with them anymore. “So….ah….Where do we go from here?” My tail swished nervously behind me as I looked at her, not sure how she would accept my words. I’d been in a relationship before, but the circumstances had been completely different. The ground I tread here seemed possibly dangerous.