I can't be Changed

[Ember]

Paradox

I moved my lean brown body over the feild of flowers, enjoying the beauty. I loved beauty, even the most dark side of my nature did. It helps me control it.

I breathed deeply, ignoring the feeling of bile that rose whenever I thought about my dark side. Last time I let it take control, it hadn't ended very well.

I tried to shake that thought off, not wanting it to give it any weakness. My claws dug into the ground, making furrows. The beauty of the field dissloved, forming into darkness and shadows. Not again....

My mind went blank. I felt the familar lightness wehn my dark side took controled. However I resisted, forcing my self to see what was really there, not just the darkness and shaodws.

Slowly, the beauty and color returned to my eyesight. I found myself looking at the grass at an odd angle, my face against the ground. Focus, focus, I chanted to myself.

I slowly got up from the ground. To any other wolf, it would have looked like I had just fainted, but I knew what happened. And that disturbed me, put a dark light into my heather eyes.

[Black Yen Power G-Man Spy]

This field held beauty within it. Flowers sprawled out everywhere. She didn't find them beautiful. He did, but she did not. They were just flowers.. However, something caught her eye.. A strange rose, growing nearly by itself. This distracted her. The wolf approached it, gazing at it with eyes filled with bloodlust. Emerald gaze sat upon this strange flower... This rose. Black petals, and red petals? They merged, creating a single, beautiful rose.

"He would like this.. Its... Like Us."

When one was awake, the other slept. Sometimes, they would both sleep. For now, she was awake, he was resting. The ever Gloomy one, Lilith was in control. Long and hard she stared at this single, strange rose. Silently. Staring. In a sudden motion, she tore it up. Tearing it apart with her jaws in a fit of rage. How dare this flower mock her... She was simply she, and he was simply he. They did not coexist, they never would. Never.

Don't be like that dear Lilith.

Thats what he would say, with that sickeningly charming smile on his face. No, she wouldn't talk to him. Not now. He was sleeping, she wanted it that way. No, she was HER. She was the real one. Blood.. She thirsted. She needed it. Needed blood.. Scent. Another wolf.. Nearby.. Life... Heart. Beating. Blood. The she wolf, who was truly male, followed the scent. Finding it just in time to see this female, apparently fainted. Easy prey. A cannibal? No. She didn't want to eat the other she wolf. Simply wanted to drink her blood... Her delicious life's water. However, the plan was spoiled. The other wolf woke up. Dazed and confused as it looked. Perhaps.. Yes, a try. She spoke, femimine body, a female voice, alluring eyes. The only betraying sign that she wasn't a she was her scent. She spoke.

"You, bitch. Give it to me. Your blood, give me a sample. I want it.. I want to taste it. Give it to me now."

She walked closer, rage in her eyes. Fear in her eyes. Lust, hunger. She gazed at Paradox. She wanted it. She would have it.

[Ember]

"You, bitch. Give it to me. Your blood, give me a sample. I want it.. I want to taste it. Give it to me now."

My temper roared. How dare this strange wolf with a male's body and a female's vioce speak to me like that. I breathed deeply in, colosing my eyes,watching.

I opened my eyes. For an errie second, my eyes glowed thier heather color. Like glowed glowed. And then it vanished.

" Hello, " I said, my vioce wary. My paws flicked out, grabbed a pawful of grass, and tore it to bits. I had to have some release for my temper, that glowed when ever I thought about what that wolf said about me.

I slowly walked arround the wolf, my eyes casting glances at her/him as I assessed her, my temper calming in the light of this activity.

My pawsteps thumping in an even rythmn, my tail flicking high above my body to assert myself. My ears open to the sounds of the meadow.

He, she, it was black as a shadow, a perfect picture of what my temper would like as a wolf. I've seen it too, my temper, shulking at the edge of my mind. I know, sounds crazy doesn't it? At least it doesn't speak.

I had stopped pacing at this moment of thought, both me and my temper thinking. Then the temper leaped towards my mind. I was so startled that I didn't even make a fight. It controled me completely.

" So, you want a taste of my blood? Well, come and get it, " It said, it's heather eyes very dark, almost black. I shuddered, not that you could see it of course. It moved my body closer to the wolf, making my belly fur brush against the ground. It/me licked it's lips.

[Black Yen Power G-Man Spy]

She was going to resist. She was angry. Angry. Anger. What did this fleeting life know about anger? How could she understand the pure rage that settled within the mind of this wolf? No. She understood nothing! Wait.. Her movements. Strange. Her body, mind, fighting. Two minds.. Two minds? No. She knew nothing. Copycat. Thats all she was. SHe understood nothing. Her heart was beating. The noise.. The noise.. The NOISE... It had to stop. The irritating ticking of that beating heart. Thump, thump, thump. It had to stop.

Milady Lilith, must you entice Violence?

The other one woke up.. THe disgusting aristocrate. With his charming eyes. His charming smile. His charming way of speaking. No, it didn't matter, she had control. She wasn't tired! There would be no switching. She growled, a crazed grin on his face, eyes rolling back into her head, as if trying to look into her own mind.

"Shut up... Shut up.. Shut up!!! This bitch refused to give me Blood! Shes staring at me with Anger! Me! Insulting me! Shut up! I'm going to tear her spine out through her asshole and shove it down her throat!!!"

She was screeching at the top of her lungs now, biting her lip hard, her own blood running, trickling down. She was incensed, her gaze turning towards Paradox. The rage, the hatred, the anger.. It appeared to be gone.. Now, it was replaced, with nothing more then a cool killing intent.

"Lust the temptress is my name, feed me blood to keep me tame."

Obviously, this "She"Wolf was unstable. A solemn madness rang in her voice, a rehersed speech. Machinelike. She waited, head tilted to the side, maw bleeding near the bottom jaw.

[Ember]

"Shut up... Shut up.. Shut up!!! This bitch refused to give me Blood! Shes staring at me with Anger! Me! Insulting me! Shut up! I'm going to tear her spine out through her asshole and shove it down her throat!!!"


It leaped. I saw my smooth brown body flying through the air, and then I took back control. I gasped as I took control, leaning my body slighty to the left.

I ducked into a head roll, my body rolling on the smooth grass of the meadow.My temper flared, trying to grasp what was left of it's control. I quickly got up and ran to the edge of the clearing, gasping. So close.....

"Lust the temptress is my name, feed me blood to keep me tame."

This wolf was unstable. For one breif, gloroius second, I imagined using my temper as a weapon. Then the thought vanished. How dare I !

The black wolf was there again, testing the edges of my mind. The shadows. I glared at the wolf, angry, but at the same time not, about her provoking my Temper.

I swished my tail, my heather eyes fixed on the wolf's emerald ones. How badly I wanted to let go of it! But not, I placed iron walls at my minds boundaries, my eyes getting a glazed look, then snapped back to focus.

From this piont on, I had to keep a very close eye on my temper and that wolf. Focus...focus...focus.

[Black Yen Power G-Man Spy]

SHe knew what to do. She stared, watched, as the she wolf's body moved. No, this little... She wolf wasn't moving her own body. There was something else. Perhaps somebody else. Copycat! No, she would not be fooled! This she wolf couldn't control herself. Fine. Death would be a release. No, not Death. Torture. What did a womb look like? SHe didn't have one, she wanted one. Maybe she could take hers.. Yes, rip it out, just to see.. Maybe there was life inside it.. Pregnency, what did it look like from the inside? Tear it out. Paradox missed. She moved. Fighting for control. Disgusting, yet Lust sympathised with her.

Shes no diffrent then us it looks like. Why are you so angry? Just relax. I know you want to taste it, I do too. try asking her. She might just give it to us.

He talked again. He was awake. He needed to sleep, to leave her alone. It infuriated her... Ask? Ask!? She glared at the ground, licking her chops. She looked paranoid, lost in thought. Her mind was racing. Finally, she snapped to attention, staring at Paradox.

"Shut up Alucard! I'm tired of you... You have symphathy for her? For this she wolf? She is not like us.. No, we are two, we are one. I am one, you are unwanted. Go away, go to her, leave, go away..."

Fine. I'll go back for now. But, in exchange, try asking her.

A deal. He offered her a deal? Why wouldn't he just dissapear! Fine.. She had no choice, he wouldn't stop unless she agreed. She did, mentally. Cursing his existance. Cursing her own existance. This she wolf, this paradox, was nothing like her. No. Nothing.

"Please..." She spat out the word. It hurt her pride, her anger. Her pain. "Give it to me.. A paw, bite it, let it flow, let me taste your blood." She spoke again, words laced with honey, yet flowed with poison.

[Ember]

There was a mad light, yet at the same time, a human light in this wolf's emerald eyes. I refused to beleive it. I closed my eyes, drawing in breath.

When I opened my eyes again, I was was once again calm happy Paradox. " Hello, " I said, my vioce soft, not wanting to scare this freaky wolf off. Althrough the wolf was strange, it was still company.

I sat down, putting my light brown tail on my paws, my heather eyes gentle. My Temper was seething in fury, but my iron walls were in place, and for a little while, I could do what I wanted in peace. As long as they held.

So I sat there, struggling to contol my walls and what lay outside at the same time.

"Shut up Alucard! I'm tired of you... You have symphathy for her? For this she wolf? She is not like us.. No, we are two, we are one. I am one, you are unwanted. Go away, go to her, leave, go away..."


Go to her. For some reason this pharse rebounded off my iron walls and kept going back. It took me a little while to figure out why. My Temper was snarling the words out, sounding strange in it's way.

I struggled to remain focused.

Please...Give it to me.. A paw, bite it, let it flow, let me taste your blood."

Give it to me, it said. I slowly walked over to the wolf. Her vioce was lanced with pioson honey. And one my way over there, a thron pricked me in my front paw. Shoot...

I stopped to pull it out. A sharp prick of pain and then the blood started flowing.

[Black Yen Power G-Man Spy]

He slept once again. Alucard. She hated him... Because he was the original. She was a product of his twisted mind. No. She was "She". She existed. She was her own wolf! One day.. She would kill him. Inside her mind. She would murder him, feast on his thoughts, devour him, and become "One." This was her wish. She would never forgive him. The male, Alucard knew. They were "Two" and always would be. Nothing would change this. He accepted her, she hated him. The mental struggle would continue. Blood.. She could smell it. Blood.. Delicious flowing blood.

"I hear it.. Your heart beats."

She stated calmly as Paradox walked closer. The chaos within the other she wolf's mind seemed to have calmed down... Closer, she was coming closer. Would she submit? Yes.. She was getting closer.. Kill her? No.. Lust wasn't a cannibal. She just wanted blood. A thorn. THe she wolf stepped on it. Blood.. She could smell it. Her heart was beating.. Blood. The black she wolf stepped closer, eyes glued to the wound. Closer, slowly, never looking away. She wanted it, she would have it. Closer, closer still, now, right there, standing at the paw. Her head leaned down to stare at the wound, her face calm. Slowly, the she wolf's black tongue came from her maw, and gently, she licked the wound. Her tongue returned to its home, Paradox's red blood lacing her tastebuds. Yes.. Blood.. It spoke to her. She tasted it, a drunken look on her face.

"Yes.. Your heart beats.. Blood, I can taste it. Your confused. Your angry. Your calm. Yes, I can taste it.. Your confliction. More.. I want more. Give it to me, surrunder.. More.. I won't hurt you. More."

Her gaze was on that paw. Her own paw raised, lifting Paradox's paw to her muzzle. The wolf gazed at the wound, her tongue out again, licking it. Tasting it, drinking it. Ambrosia, poison... It was catnip to her. Calm now, she closed her eyes, taking that wound into her mouth, lapping at it, drinking. Calm.. Calming..

[Ember]

"I hear it.. Your heart beats."

I could feel, going thump, thump against my chest. Temper stirred weakly, watching and waiting.

The blood flowed out, staining the green grass a little bit. Temper wanted my eyes to stay on it, but I refused.Or tried to. Lifting my paw, I looked at it, watching the blood flow

The black wolf inched it's way closer. Temper wanted it to, for some strange reason. Temper inched up closer to my iron walls, now also bricks.

The black wolf was focused on the blood. Inching closer, closer. My instint warned me away, but I didn't listen. Temper got closer. I started panicking. Too many wolves coming too close.

The black wolf was so close now I could feel her breathing. She lcked at my paw. No..Temper moaned as it crashed into my walls. Ah...dang it.

She broke them, my carefully built walls. but, strangely, she didn't try to take over. Rarther, she let me feel what she was feeling. And Temper is a she.

I felt smothered, and wanted to fight back. Temper wouldn't let me. Rarther, she took one of my paws and ran it along my front paw with the thorn, making gashes. What. the . Heck.

Temper! I screamed it in my head.

[Black Yen Power G-Man Spy]

Calm. Calming. Her blood... It tasted strangly.. Calming. Yet, there was something more. Blood, the blueprints of life. The soul, pieces of the soul rested within it. Yes, there was more... She was confused. Yes, it was there. A presence. Another one.. Delicious. More.. She wanted more. She would take it. She continued to lick the blood. Satisfied, happy. Calm. It was delicious.. More. She smelled it, more.. The she wolf was. Cutting herself? Did she enjoy this? No. It wasn't her working. No.. Not her. The other. Other? Copycat. The she wolf continued to drink, but stopped for a moment, gazing into Paradox's eyes. She wanted more blood, but first. First.. This.

"I taste it, the blood. Soul. Anger. Pure anger. Two. Two souls. No, one soul, one thought. Two souls? One... You, you tempt me? I will drink. You, you who hides in the shadow of this females mind. Go away. I'm done with you."

She was calm. The vulger langauge was gone now. The blood... It soothed her. Like a baby with milk. She would take more.. Yes, more. But first, to show her appreciation of a willing doner. She would help Paradox. Yes, help her, then drink.. Drink more. Kill? No.. Yes.. Maybe.. No.. Kill.. Blood? More.

"Control. Give me more."

She stated calmly, eyes glazed over.