Promise You'll Haunt Me {Lu!

[SAGE™]

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I remember his screams. . . I remember him calling my name in the rain. Why was I so heartless? Did I have a heart as all. . . ? That was something I wasn't sure I could ever determine, for I knew something in me desired so much out of my reach. Why did I leave him? Maybe the truth was I needed him to. But did I want him? Was I desperate? We've met once, but that was all I needed to know I wanted him. Bow, I wasn't desperate! I just. . . Didn't deserve him. I tried to make him see that he has more to life than slavery. Why would his being locked in someone's ruling mean anything to us, though? Confused thoughts were ruthless.

the meadow was reassuring, and I didn't bother making my mind be on guard. all there was was me, and the scents. And my thoughts. . . Menelaus. . . Oh Menelaus. I really don't deserve him, yet why do I found myself attracted to him, wanting him to touch me, to love me. . . They were all pity dreams I could never fulfill. He wouldn't ever. I was so stupid, so, so, so stupid. I needed something in the world, but it wasn't him. . . Couldn't be him. Perhaps it was loneliness I have lived in that I could only ever have. It was a reachable dream. To be able to trust no one but myself.

But, even my mind was turning on me. I don't care for anything anymore, I didn't need to care for anything. I was just a one soul, was I not? Compared to the world, I might as well be dead. Laying down in the empty field, in the comfort of silence, my eyes were burning. Why. . . Why did I leave him when he was all I wanted right now?

Looking up into the sky, I couldn't help but sigh. Then, in the middle of the open field, I layed my head down, I closed my eyes. And as ironically as it seemed, the sky began to cry with me in a harmony of angst.
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[¡§LUNAR✮OASIS¡§&#]

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[atrb=background,http://i55.tinypic.com/11weu5e.jpg] The sky had begun to release a cold fury. Cold droplets of rain fell from the gray skies. Odd as the mid-winter season didn't call for such humid weather. Yet with each breeze that seemed to haunt the creatures within the meadow, each droplet within the clouds started coming down as snow flakes. Perfect crystals that had a amazing design among them. Why was that? Each snowflake was different. Each snowflake had its own design, its own texture and thickness to it. It almost seemed magical as Menelaus studied them one by one, for each fell too quickly in front of him. A sneer formed over his maw. He snapped his jaws forward in a angry attempt to stop the snow fall. A blur of white teeth biting into the faded white and gray atmosphere. It was all to familiar, all too depressing. The cold really didn't bother him, but this anger seemed to be the only emotion he could figure. Ever since, ever since that day. It was since that night, he shut out everything, everything. That day he finally found Astraea, someone who asked him to open his eyes and let himself go. Like a trapped butterfly, but it was that clear viewed heart of his that made Menelaus so defiant. Perhaps he shouldn't have even mentioned Gyphon? But he could never lie, not even to a stranger, It was everything against him. Her scent suddenly seemed strong. Ears flicked up, only to catch fierce winds blowing them back over. Squinting as the wind blew toward him, her scent certainly that way. But... did he want to see her. Of course he did, all of him wanted to be in her presence, to embrace her. Yet this hesitance was causing him bubble up with anger. Not toward Astraea, never. All this anger, he pressed within himself was toward his past and most of all, toward himself. Angry tears formed from both emotions and from the wind continually blowing in his face. His nose twitched with paranoia, realizing her scent was faint and no clear signs of movement. There wasn't snow built up upon the ground yet, hopefully spotting her wasn't difficult. Yet he hadn't moved a muscle yet, other than his orbicular iris were getting agitated more and more. A deep sigh signified defeat. As a cloud of white jumped into the winds raging direction. Blinking, Menelaus walked against the winds of what seemed to be turning into a blizzard. Just like what was forming inside his chest & perhaps even Astraea's. He kept telling himself he was only walking out here to see if she was okay, because deep inside, just then he wasn't sure if he wanted to see her or not. Both of them had fairly white pelts. While Astraea had that strange tribal marking among her face. Menelaus had silver on top of his head, looking as if he had legit hair. Both their eyes glowed within the gray evening. Her eyes were a pool of brilliant purple, while his were orbs of pale misty blue. Yet his were cold and empty within these recent days. There was no question, Menelaus was a wolf to easily confused and lost. Large muscular paws finally reached the perimeter to where Astraea was laying on the ground. He could see her moving, breathing. He sighed in relief, but then blinked and sighed again but louder for her to hear him. The sounds of the wind picking up covered most sounds. Rather dangerous really, in an annoyed expression rolled his eyes and stepped closer to Astraea. "What're you doing?" His voice was cold and bitter, but deep within it was a tad of concern he couldn't pull off. ooc; ohhh what a twist :P

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[SAGE™]

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Snow had started falling, cold and unhelpful to my shivering body. As it shook with small jerks, I tried to cling more to the warmth of my belly, my tail over my muzzle. With the jerking movements never stopping, my pelt covered with snow and wet rain, I wondered if I had a family. If I had warmth to get me through life, so I couldn't have to bear this burden. Or even if I had Menelaus. . . No. I didn't need him. I desired his warmth now, but would I really accept it? I was stubborn, that was true. But was I so stubborn it blinds me of what I truelly want?

I remembered when we talked for hours. We shared everything about our life. He even honored me with his name. . . . But was it really I who had betrayed him? Now that he's back, why won't I let him back in? Because i'm weak. I'm selfish. I only care for my own heart. But. . . That wasn't entirely true. Menelaus didn't deserve this. He needs better than what I can give him. Why can't he see?

I snapped my head up when I heard an exaggerated sigh, loudly covering all my thoughts. I flinched when I saw him, he looked so disappointed. I stood up quickly, and stepped back. I was still shivering, and when I saw him I couldn't help but feel guilty. His words were harsh, but I heard something in his voice. However, I returned the harshness. Why do you care? I hissed, shaking still, twitching my tail with angst.
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[¡§LUNAR✮OASIS¡§&#]

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[atrb=background,http://i55.tinypic.com/11weu5e.jpg] Cold thoughts came with the cold breeze. He wasn't even sure what to think. They hadn't left the rogue area's since that day they ran into each other once again. The day their fate ran its course once again. It had been something so grand and so... innocent the first time. Now, now it was something tarnished and slowly blowing away like the warm seasons just now. Harsh movements erupted from Astraea's much smaller body. Her thick white pelt blended in with the dark blue snow storm. Like a lifeless day, that held too much promise. Her glare was more of shock, while Menelaus was blank. He had chosen long ago that emotions were useless. And from recently, he had decided to stay with his decision since she cared for them not, just like Noir... you fool Menelaus. "Why do you care?" Her words were harsh. A eager question, he shrugged and casually broke their glance. She had taken a step back away from him. He sighed into the wind once more. He had so many things to say, both bad and good. Yet right now, the only things he could form in his mouth was harsh and full of too much reality. But he was on the verge of snapping. He squinted, anger showed through in his eyes. Lost and broken, he was. "Why do I care Astraea?" He let out a single exhaled laugh. He spoke deeply and clearly into the freezing storm. "Do you like being a victim? That's what it is right? First you refuse to listen to reason, then it seems you refuse to listen to a word I have said." He stopped, loosing his moral of what he was trying to say. Letting emotions take over with blabbed out non sense. Menelaus didn't want to be harsh. He didn't want to hurt her or her feelings really. But he was a realist at this point, he wanted to get his point through her apparently thick skull. A twitch lingered in his muzzle. Yet he just blinked and sighed again. "It's like the first time I met you. So helpless, and in some type of trouble." He suddenly felt nostalgic and melancholy. So strange for him to have such swaying emotions, only she brought this upon him. But that's when it hit him... was this why... "Is that why?" He blinked, looking at his paws that weren't visible, covered in a blanket of white. "That's why... I feel I must protect those around me. Those I care about.. That's why I give myself away Astraea. But it was all for you?" He questioned himself. "I was afraid I'd lose some one, I was blinded by that to realize that I made the mistake of leaving. And now, here again, I made a mistake of being a hypocrite. I wanted to protect you, but I have only caused mental suffering... right?" He stepped closer, eyes searching helplessly. He felt things all making sense. He had found Astraea that day. Having saved her from freezing to death within a half frozen river when they were pups. He wanted to help Noir regain her freedom so she'd be safe. He promised Gryphon he'd help her with power and strength, but he knew now that his goal was tainted. And here Astraea was, half freezing in the snow storm as his own cold heart was doing half the job...

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[SAGE™]

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Cold eyes met each other, and I knew his had more promise then I'll ever hope for. Why was it so bad for me? Why did I need to cause so much misery to those whom I care for most? Because, I was selfish. Yes, that was the only answer I could come to. And honestly, I didn't mind anymore. I didn't need anything. Accept him. I let my head down for a few seconds, shaking it.

Why do I care Astraea? Do you like being a victim? That's what it is right? First you refuse to listen to reason, then it seems you refuse to listen to a word I have said.


I snarled now, not able to take this from him. The victim! Menelaus, you are the real victim. Look into my eyes, and tell me that is not true, and I will listen to what you want to say. For you give yourself so freely to others, how can you not be the victim? I hissed the words. Yes, I know I was a victim. But it was because the disappoint what was always blessed upon me was nature, and it didn't cause me any real pain. Anything I would regret. But did I regret those words? My eyes softened, and I felt ashamed.

I sighed, shaking my head once more. I choose to be a victim, cause the disappointment is all I live. The words were soft and emphasized. What in this world didn't bring me disappointment? What else could I ever live for.

It's like the first time I met you. So helpless, and in some type of trouble.

My head snapped up, fire in my eyes. What? Yeah, I was helpless. What trouble was I in now? I never got his words. However, I had no reply to that. My eyes were asking for forgiveness, but my stupid mind wanted anything but pathetic pity. Mercy could not be resourced to. My ears began to flatten to my head, and I felt stupid. I felt unbelievably weak.

He began to speak of the reason why. Why he had done all he had. For me. Me? No. How could any of that help me at all! I was a lost cause, I didn't deserve him. Suddenly, I felt that need. Why couldn't you forget? I'm a lost cause, Menelaus. You deserve better than me. Why. . . Are you that blind?! I'm weak, I am everything you don't need! I shook my head, screaming the words now. That wasn't to hard, except the sudden ache in my chest. Where my heart was. . . There seemed a hole now, something missing.

However, when he took a step close to me, something in his eyes were so convincing. I took a step forward to meet him. Then another, and we were inches apart, and something. . . I don't know where it came from, but it was truth. Suddenly, I leaped at him, my muzzle meeting his. Why did it take so long? I needed him more than anything.
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[¡§LUNAR✮OASIS¡§&#]

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[atrb=background,http://i55.tinypic.com/11weu5e.jpg] He ignored her words. Ignored her words of recoil. Astraea wanted to refuse to listen to him. She said she was weak, she wasn't worth it. She laid within the snow, trying to refuse his presence. They both didn't listen until the words spoken from each other thoroughly soaked in. Until it was like being hit by listening. They were both at fault when they refused to listen to what was needed. Needed indeed. Her eyes held fire, sadness and so much emotion. While Menelaus was a master of masking his emotions. He knew very well something broke through eventually. The simplest of words, could be ones weakness. Or it could be the simplest of actions. It's what defined everyone's character, personality. It's what defined you. And while Menelaus often used blunt words, they never seemed to be enough until he pressed with actions. Astraea caught grasp of what he said in the end. How he thought the way he acted all bloomed from their first meeting. And his never ending will to protect and serve those he promised. His word was his life, never could someone come across a wolf with such dying loyalty as Menelaus. He was well aware of his loyal habits, and exhibited them well. The two of them stood within the blizzard's harsh fury. Blowing their thick pelts to the side, their eyes squinting from both the snow and emotions. He took that step closer, and she did too. And as she broke down, their bodies at touch, Menelaus felt as if a wall had been demolished within that move. Sometimes words meant to much, sometimes what we say isn't exactly whats in our minds or in our hearts. Muzzles touched, they both gladly poured in years of embracing emptiness that needed to be filled. The wind blew, the sounds of spiraling wind and tree's rushing from the force filled every sound. But for a few moments, everything was silent. Everything went still, everything felt right. "As long as your alive, there will always be a cause." He whispered enchantingly into her ear. He wished those words had meant as much to her. as they did to him. He would never think of giving up on Astraea. Perhaps before he gave off an attitude of not caring, but it was his keen of acting. A wolf as he simply couldn't give up on another so easily, and at the, someone so important. Someone he could relate with, the only wolf he knew from his home land. "Come now, let's go home." Moving back, he tried to meet her eyes. ooc; short post, but I say quality over quantity? ;)

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