Winter Wonderland

[☼ Sunstorm]

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[atrb=background,http://i899.photobucket.com/albums/ac192/fireb4ashes/Arabesque-MIDDLE.jpg] I had experienced cold nights before; the desert proved to be not only burning hot during the day, but also a piercing cold. It was strange, but as soon as the sun disappeared over the horizen, all the heat faded and a chilling cold took over. So it was not as if I was not used to chills, but this climate was entirely different, and an entirely different type of cold. There was this strange substance the natives called snow that was some type of crystalline formation that fell from the sky, and it seemed that everywhere I turned I spotted ice. I disliked this climate, and I disliked it with a great emotion backing it up. If I could have found any place that was drastically different than the one I loved, then this was it. I thought of all this as I sat on a high cliff overlooking the vast stretch of ocean, though I kept a reasonable distance between myself and the very edge of the cliff. It was not quite the height that terrified me, but instead the swirling waters below. Thinking of water turned my thoughts onto Shyne, who loved it just as she loved her Italian heritage. Just as I loved my Arabian heritage…We could not be anymore different, either, and yet we were irrationally drawn to each other. These thoughts were baffling, and I scowled visibly at the notion. I drew myself closer in as the wind picked up, my tail pressing even more closely against my side. It would be sensible to retreat into the cover of the trees, but I strangely had no desire to do so. The crisp, salty air out here seemed to clear my head, letting me think. It was not as if I had much else to do anyway; I still was not sure what being a Warrior entailed. Was I supposed go beyond the borders and…well, do things? Save the day or whatever? Personally, I thought that was stupid, because there was not much ‘saving’ I could do. This whole island was filled with huge wolves, and I wasn’t much of a force. I was just here for Shyne. A shiver coursed its way through my pale body, and my muzzle lifted slightly so I could gaze at the sky. A thick layer of clouds blanketed the sky, and they seemed to threaten more snow. I wished that no more would fall, because I was definitely sick of it, but I probably wouldn’t get that wish. I looked distastefully to the white flakes that surrounded me, the set of my muzzle clearly showing my opinion of it. Oh, what I wouldn’t give to change those flakes into hot grains of sand….A great sigh left my body and I switched my gaze back to the sea, reimmersing myself in my thoughts. Ooc:// This is for Aylenni’s character, Kayden! (:

[Aylenni]

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[atrb=background,http://i55.tinypic.com/30w71ae.jpg] Kayden loved the snow. She loved the feel of melting ice on her fur. She loved the power of nature that was conveyed through each tiny flake. She loved how each was unique, how no matter how many snowflakes she examined, she could never find two that were twins. She loved the fact that there were places different enough from the desert for rain to fall, and for rain to be frozen, and for it to stay frozen when it touched the ground. The desert had been cold enough during the nights, but there had never been rain or snow or sleet. Before venturing to Traum, Kayden had never even seen ice before! In the brisk winter of Traum, snow and ice was everywhere. But Kayden relished the difference. It meant that there was a chance that people could be different, too. It meant that not all women were frightened of their own shadows and voices, and not all males were obsessed with sex and being the best. It meant that, for once, Kayden could be her own person, without needing a male escort everywhere she went. No, her desert-girl days were over. She didn’t miss them. Kayden walked through the deep snow, taking her time. She had an idea that she was in Warrior territory at last, and she was looking forward to joining their ranks. For years she’d loved to hear stories about the legendary Serena- learning that the silvery fae was real and alive had been one of the pleasanter surprises of her time on the island. Finding the commander hadn’t been easy, but Kayden caught a whiff of wolf scent on the brisk wind and imagined that it belonged to Sister Wolf. Something wasn’t quite right, though. Kayden smelled something in the wind that disagreed with her a great deal. The wolf smelled like the desert heat and sand, and what was more, the scent was male, now that Kayden stopped to think about it. Angry, she drew closer. She stood on a cliff, overlooking the coast of the island. The inlet was beautiful, encased in a diamond-like shell of clear ice. White snow covered the ground and spilled onto the dark ice of the water. It would have been a flawless picture had it not been for the male standing in the middle of it. The fur on Kayden’s neck stood on end. The male was Arabian. Kayden snarled. His creamy tan coat, splashed with gray here and there, was so insulting to her that she instantly decided she did not like him. She wouldn’t kill him, seeing as he was most likely a Warrior, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t be rude, too. Making no attempt to conceal herself, Kayden climbed down to the shoreline. She didn’t say anything, but stood some five yards away from him, staring out at the sea. Anger flooded her veins without the male having to say anything. She thought she knew already what he might say. He would act as though she were his inferior, and expect her to submit to him immediately. Kayden would not tolerate that, ever again. Not from anyone.

[☼ Sunstorm]

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[atrb=background,http://i899.photobucket.com/albums/ac192/fireb4ashes/Arabesque-MIDDLE.jpg] I sat there for quite some time, enjoying my solitude. I preferred to be alone, unless I had the opportunity to share some time with Shyne. Other than her, I wished for no one else. I needed no one else. But it was not until I met this new female that I realized I had been craving another type of company completely, and I had never even realized it. Directly before I realized I was not alone, my thoughts had shifted to my former lover. It’d been a few years since I’d seen her, and I did not like to think of my very last memory of her, but instead the beautiful moments we’d shared. I remember when I first met her, when her cousin Khadija introduced her to me. She’d been the most delicate creature I could remember seeing, and at once we’d been bonded. These types of bonds were generally pre-arranged by the families, but ours could not have been more compatible. A few short, but sweet, months I had spent with Adara. These months had shown me the most sweet passages of love that I’d never known to exist. But it had all been ripped from me, and it’d been my fault. It’d been nothing but my fault, and the guilt that I’d been the indirect cause of Adara’s death was something I’d never, ever removed from my shoulders. It’s not that I didn’t want to, it was that I couldn’t. The snarl only faintly reached my radar-like ears, for the wind was strong here at the shoreline. Even though I didn’t think I’d heard anything, I turned my head around, and did a double-take. My thoughts had just been on my beautiful bird-like woman, and for one sheer, wild second I thought I was seeing her again. I was not thinking rationally, but I had already risen to my feet and turned to face the Arabian woman. But after another second of staring, I realized that I was not looking at Adara. No, instead I was looking at a stranger, and it’d just happened that she vaguely resembled my past love. But I could see significant differences now that I’d looked; yes, I’d memorized every detail of Adara’s face, and while it was great when I was cherishing her memory, it was even more painful when I remembered that she was gone at my paw. I felt a harsh wave of disappointment at that time, though there was a slight excitement that managed to remain. No, this was not Adara, but it was a precious link to my homeland, one that I did not have before. It was harsh to see her soon after my thoughts turned in the direction that they did, but that was the way things were. I hardly noticed the anger that radiated off her through my inner turmoil. “Ah, a fellow Arabian we have here,” I managed to say, sucessfully concealing and stuffing away the last threads of disappointment, which I could deal with at a later time. “I am thrilled to have come upon another of our kind. Do you hail from Arabia, as I have?” I hoped she had, because it seemed that it would strengthen this small connection with my homeland.

[Aylenni]

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[atrb=background,http://i55.tinypic.com/30w71ae.jpg] When the male noticed her, he did a double-take. Kayden frowned. She was quiet, but she didn’t think she’d been that quiet. He got up and faced her, staring openly. Kayden wanted to shout at him. What? she thought, screaming inside her head. Why are you looking at me that way? But she remained silent, biting back her words. ”Ah, a fellow Arabian we have here. I am thrilled to have come upon another of our kind. Do you hail from Arabia, as I have?” Kayden looked around. We? she thought. Was it possible she had missed someone hiding by the shore? She saw no one, however, and relaxed. ”Yes,” she said, her accent revealed by barely controlled anger and the mist coming from the sea. It was a medium accent, neither thick nor light, and it reminded her of her mother’s voice. That lessened the anger, but only a little. ”My mother was shaman of the Dhi’ib, to the east.” It wasn’t often that a woman was shaman in the desert tribes, and Kayden had long taken pride that her mother was strong and skilled enough to take and keep the position. ”My father was a warrior- his name was Kaluan. I trained to take up his calling.” This was not quite a flat-out lie, but it was pretty close. Kayden had never wanted to succeed her father- she had always known she was going to leave as soon as she could. And furthermore, the training had come from her mother, not her father or any male in the pack. For all her knowledge of healing and calling on the spirits of the desert, her mother hadn’t known very much about being a warrior, and most of Kayden’s experience had come from hunting animals far larger than herself. The pack was always surprised that Kayden could take down gazelle and ibex on her own. Kayden dared the male to make a comment, dared him to sniff at a woman who could fight. This male wasn’t so large that she couldn’t fight him, and Nelaros had been at least half as large again. She changed her stance a little, just barely enough to send a warning not to scoff at her or her mother. ”But the questioner should not ask without first answering. Where do you go, I wonder; why,” she asked with a tiny bit of edge to her voice, ”are you here?” Kayden was curious by nature, and this male, however distasteful his appearance was to her, was no exception. In her life, she had never met a male discontent with the desert sands and his cushy, comfortable place in them. As far as she knew, she and her mother were the only Arabians to leave the great deserts- yet here stood another of her race, one who was more a reminder of the pain she had left behind than the freedom she had come to embrace. Kayden had hoped to sever all ties to her past but one- and that one was Serra al Abbadi, not some arrogant male.

[☼ Sunstorm]

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[atrb=background,http://i899.photobucket.com/albums/ac192/fireb4ashes/Arabesque-MIDDLE.jpg] I saw the wary attitude in her posture as she looked around; it reminded me so distinctly of myself, watching for an ambush. I’d had to do that often, and perhaps too often, since my coming to Traum. Obviously, she saw no other, and she looked back to me. She finally answered, and revealed the accent that I’d been waiting for. It seemed thinner than mine, although mine had once been much thicker. Time being here had caused it to somewhat loosen up, much to my disguist. “My mother was shaman of the Dhi’ib, to the east.” Even now I did not detect the anger, for I was still far too eager to make a precious connection with her. If I had been paying closer attention to such things, I would have known it, but I was too caught up in my own world (which, by the way, seemed as if it were piecing itself back together). There was a slight disappointment when she announced that she was from the east, for I had come from the western coastline, but an interest quickly followed when I absorbed that her mother had been a shaman. That was an incredibly rare thing. “To the east? That’s a shame, I hail from the western coast, next to the Red Sea. Perhaps your tribes ran things differently there, with a female shaman?” It was hard not to make some kind of negative remark in light of that interest. I had been born and raised to look down upon females, and to always put them in their place when they’d tried to step out of line. They tended to get carried away. However, ever since I’d met Shyne, my way of thinking had been slowly reversing itself. She’d proven—and very quickly, too, if I may say—that she would not put up with that. And if I wanted to keep her, then I must continually bite my tongue. The problem I had now was this: did all this apply to just Shyne herself, or the entire female population? ‘My father was a warrior- his name was Kaluan. I trained to take up his calling.’ Again, I had to wrestle with that question. Eventually I tried to find a happy medium, though while the words themselves were true, the tone behind it could be taken in a bad way. “Ah, a warrior woman? Those come few and far between. That too, is rare.” Little did I know, this might be the wrong thing to say. If I were to get on her good side, I had to be respectful. Too bad I didn’t quite know that, nor did I really know how to do that. Her stance shifted, and there was an aggressive edge to it. I noted this, and my eyes narrowed. Ah, yes, this one was fiesty. I managed to hold my tongue, but it was becoming difficult in this swirl of confusing emotions. I was trying to think of Shyne’s philosophy and the meaning of it while I was attempting to establish a connection with my homeland, and therefore that task reminded me dearly of my previous lover. My mind was not a great place to be at this moment. “But the questioner should not ask without first answering. Where do you go, I wonder; why are you here?” My brow quirked at the question, and, much to my own surprise, my mouth twisted into a slight smile. It was not one of mockery….Even I could not explain its purpose, but it had nothing to do with her. It was more of myself, and my answer to her question. “You mean why I am here and not my proud Arabia?” I sighed, glancing out to the sea while sitting on my haunches. After a moment, I looked back to her. “Good question.” And that was all I felt the need to say, because how was I supposed to explain to a near-stranger the grief I’d faced when Adara been murdered, by the same gang of wolves I’d provoked? The same gang that threatened the death of my sisters and mother if I returned…. And so I’d left. It was not only because of their threat that I had fled, because I had a cunning plan to retrieve my family and put them into hiding. It was not my nature to back down to threats of any kind. It was the grief that caused me to run, and to never come back, however much I constantly looked back. “Although I think if I could find a way to escape this wretched island, I would.” I didn’t know if I truly meant that. Would I be able to leave Shyne? No. Would I bring her to Arabia with me, if I could? Quite certainly. “Now I’ll ask you the same thing. Why are you here, and not there?” In this question surfaced a bit of the attitude I’d grown up with. It was in my tone, and I noted this only after the words left my mouth. I recognized that it may be something I’d regret, but I did not take it back and apologize. It was not my nature to do so, to any gender.

[Aylenni]

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[atrb=background,http://i55.tinypic.com/30w71ae.jpg] “To the east? That’s a shame, I hail from the western coast, next to the Red Sea. Perhaps your tribes ran things differently there, with a female shaman?” Kayden raised an eyebrow. She hadn’t missed on the lilt to his voice that said he didn’t think much of women in power. ”How would I know if things were different? I’ve never been to your home,” she said. ”They treated my ummi like so much sand, if that’s what you mean.” ”Ah, a warrior woman? Those come few and far between. That too, is rare.” ”Yeah?” she asked dryly. ”A female warrior is rare in the desert?” His tone left her in no doubt just what he thought of women who could fight. ”You are a Warrior, are you not? As I understand it, your own commander is a woman. Or were you so tied up in your manly duties that you did not notice?” she spat sharply. His eyes narrowed, and his eyebrow lifted a squick as she asked him what he was doing away from the desert. ”You mean why am I here and not my proud Arabia? Good question.” ”Proud Arabia,” she scoffed. ”Foolish Arabia. Arrogant Arabia. Dusty, sandy, ignorant Arabia. Arabia, whose inhabitants make it impossible for anyone to truly live. Arabia, whose blind devotion to tradition deafens them to the talent and strength of half their population. Arabia, who chased my mother away because she dared to be different. Arabia, whose proud sons tried to rape a woman as she left to find a fairer place.” She didn’t know why she said the words. In all likelihood, it would only make the male angry. But she didn’t much care. ”Although I think if I could find a way to escape this wretched island, I would.” ”Then you are a fool,” she said. Thinking about it for a moment, she amended her statement. ”Or perhaps you are only a man. How could a man see the wonders this island has? How could a privileged son of the desert see the evils his country has plagued on its women? How could a man understand?” ”Now I’ll ask you the same thing. Why are you here, and not there?” His voice was hard, filled with attitude and edge. Kayden relished the words. It meant she could really be rude. ”I don’t see why I should have to tell you anything, moghaffal. But I am here because I choose to be. I am here because I am sick to death of the desert. If I never see it again it will be too soon,” she finished with relish. ”I hated that place. I will never go back, ever. It was like a plague on my spirit, like the locusts that come and strip the land bare. If you truly miss it, if you truly want to return, then you are moghaffal, a fool.” OOC: Phew! Really let loose there! That was kinda fun to write...

[☼ Sunstorm]

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[atrb=background,http://i899.photobucket.com/albums/ac192/fireb4ashes/Arabesque-MIDDLE.jpg] She was reminding me of Shyne all the more as time passed. A very low growl sounded in my throat; it was more of a slight rumble than anything else. My elation over finding her was starting to fade, and I couldn’t tell if it was because of her personality or because of my own inner battle. Or were those two things the very same thing? It confused me all the more to simply think about it. ‘A female warrior is rare in the desert? You are a Warrior, are you not? As I understand it, your own commander is a woman. Or were you so tied up in your manly duties that you did not notice?’ “The customs are different,” I responded curtly, my tail swishing with irritance. “In this land where the larger breed obviously rules, things are much different.” And this was true. I was reminded again of my fear for the larger breed, but we were obviously alone on this stretch of coastline. For now, I had nothing to fear, no one to submit to. It was only the times that I was truly alone that I felt decently comfortable. ‘Proud Arabia. Foolish Arabia. Arrogant Arabia. Dusty, sandy, ignorant Arabia. Arabia, whose inhabitants make it impossible for anyone to truly live. Arabia, whose blind devotion to tradition deafens them to the talent and strength of half their population. Arabia, who chased my mother away because she dared to be different. Arabia, whose proud sons tried to rape a woman as she left to find a fairer place.’ My jaw clenched tighter as she continued to spit on my proud nation, the one I nurtured so dearly in my heart. I understood very well the faults it possessed; did Traum not possess faults? It had seen two wars, for the wolves had failed to learn from the first. How could she trample so heatlessly on the sands I missed so much? It was easy to see that she had some issues with her past just as I had, but knowing this did not stop the anger from rising within me. “How you can dislike our homeland, I’ll never understand. You may see the faults, but what country comes without faults? Are you under the impression that the ground you stand upon is any better than our sands? Perhaps you have not been here long enough to understand the bloody wars the wolves bring upon themselves.” I sneered, my lips curling in a distasteful way. I did not mean to do this; I did not mean to be so disrespectful to this woman. My emotions were blinding me. All the fear that came from love. ‘Then you are a fool. Or perhaps you are only a man. How could a man see the wonders this island has? How could a privileged son of the desert see the evils his country has plagued on its women? How could a man understand?’ These were the wrong words to say. A hot fire burned in my chest, boiling up to flare in my eyes; yet, somehow, they seemed to turn cold. Despite the two things, the new expression that came over me could be quite understood to any soul. “You think I do not understand? That I have not suffered from watching my own woman suffer from such things?” My lip curled again, my stance becoming threatening for a brief moment before I remembered myself, and I bitterly turned away from her. “You know nothing, woman. Nothing of what I have seen.” ‘I don’t see why I should have to tell you anything, moghaffal. But I am here because I choose to be. I am here because I am sick to death of the desert. If I never see it again it will be too soon. I hated that place. I will never go back, ever. It was like a plague on my spirit, like the locusts that come and strip the land bare. If you truly miss it, if you truly want to return, then you are moghaffal, a fool.’ I just shook my head, resolving not to look at her. I was still fuming, and I literally chewed on my tongue for a few long moments as I highly considered what would next fly forth from my mouth. “Call me what you wish, woman.” I said first, pressing my claws into the ground. “And call Arabia what you wish. But calling it names will not change it from the beautiful landscape as I see it.” I wanted to leave then. I did not want to hear her claw at the one thing I cherished more than anything, did not want the memories to continue to resurface, did not want to struggle desperately with the emotions that tagged along with it. Yet I could not bear to part with her, either. However fiesty and so, so—so Shyne-like!—she was, I could not sever the connection. Granted, that connection was so fine of a thread that it was nearly impossible to detect with the naked eye, but nevertheless. Taking deep breaths, I turned back toward her. “On another note, I do have the right to ask you your business here. You tread upon Warrior territory, as you are well aware. What is it that you seek here?” I tried to change my tone, to make it dry and business-like, but it did not work out that way. My bitter tone weaved its way into my words, making it clear that I had not yet given up the grudge I held. I worked on my deep breathing, but it was difficult to maintain a cool head. Never, in all my years, had I been a wolf with a great and extended control over my temper.

[Aylenni]

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[atrb=background,http://i55.tinypic.com/30w71ae.jpg] As she spoke, the male growled, a deep rumble that was both angry and confused. ”The customs are different. In this land where the larger breed obviously rules, things are much different.” The words came tightly, and his tail betrayed his anger. ”Well, obviously,” Kayden said dryly. ”But the larger breed doesn’t have to rule. One thing I will say for Arabia- she knows how to breed fighters.” She saw the tightening muscles in his jaw as she spoke. She was affecting him- her words were stinging him just the way she wanted them to. Kayden took a savage, brutal pleasure in that. ”How you can dislike our homeland, I’ll never understand. You may see the faults, but what country comes without faults? Are you under the impression that the ground you stand on is any better than our sands? Perhaps you have not been here long enough to understand the bloody wars the wolves bring upon themselves.” The sneer that curdled his features reminded Kayden so fiercely of Nelaros that she nearly attacked him right there and then. ”And you see only the faults of these shores. Women are treated like dirt in Arabia. We- both male and female- must scratch out a living from the sand, scavenging and fighting for water. This island is a place of plenty, and a place where people can be different. If I believed that I could not be equal to anyone else on this island, I would leave. But I believe, for all the blood shed here, for all the cruelty here, there is good. This whole island- this is a place for people to start over. This is the Jazira min Ithnan Bakht, the island of second chances. And since you love your country so much, I would guess that perhaps you did not leave it willingly, which means this is a second chance for you as well.” When she called him a fool, his eyes blazed. He shifted to a threatening position, but turned away after a moment. ”You think I do not understand? That I have not suffered from watching my own woman suffer from such things? You know nothing, woman. Nothing of what I have seen.”

[/b][/i]

Tears sprang to her eyes. ”And you know nothing of what I have lived!” she cried desperately. ”I watched my mother beaten by my father. I watched her turn mad from longing to get away! I nearly went mad myself! And when I attempted to leave, to find a better place, my father sent a man after me to catch me and beat me and… and... take me against my will, and I lived in constant fear! That is all I ever had in the desert. That is all I ever lived, and unlike your woman, there was no one to suffer for me. My mother was insane- she never saw, and I never let her see. At least your woman had someone to care for her, someone who loved her and hated to watch her suffer.”

He shook his head, still not looking at her. His claws kneaded the earth. ”Call me what you wish, woman. And call Arabia what you wish. But calling it names will not change it from the beautiful landscape as I see it.”[/i]

Here, Kayden almost smiled. ”I never said the desert was not beautiful,” she said, almost to herself. ”Do you think I never loved the sight of the sun rising and turning the sand pink and red and yellow and orange? Do you think I never found the endless stretches of unblemished sand stunning? Do you think I never marveled at the power of the desert storms as they ravaged the dunes? Do you think I never spent hours watching the expanse of stars across the sky like sparkling diamonds? Even after all the desert has done to me, I still do. But none of that is worth going back to that life. There is beauty here, also. There is sunlight glinting off of the waves, there are trees that brush the roof of the world. There are open plains that move like sand when the wind caresses them. There are flowers, and there are clouds, and there are great mountains! I find this place as beautiful as the one I left behind.” Kayden blinked, surprised to hear the words come out of her mouth. She wasn’t usually one for sentiment. But even more astonishingly was that the words were true. She had found beauty in the desert. She had always been able to find beauty in nature. It was finding loveliness in people that she had difficulty with.

He took deep breath after deep breath, and looked back at Kayden again. ”On another note, I do have the right to ask you your business here. You tread upon Warrior territory, as you are well aware. What is it that you seek here?” His tone was less angry, but there was bitterness in it. He kept breathing deeply. Kayden recognized the signs of a stressed temper when she saw them, and decided to give the male a break. ”My name is Kayden al Howaitat, daughter of Serra al Abbadi, shaman of the Dhi’ib tribe. I’m here to help out.” The words brought pain with them. She closed her eyes briefly. Was she really doing the right thing? She remembered Auburn. He had been so nice, so wonderful. But he was in the Revolt. And what was more, he had lied to her. He had lied about what Serena was doing. He hadn’t told her the Revolt and the Warriors were enemies. The lie still stung like sand in her eyes, and like when she got sand in her eyes, Kayden felt like crying when she thought about it. Her heart ached for Auburn, but that sort of lie was unforgivable. ”I might not look like much, but as you’ve seen, I come with enough fight to keep my opponents busy.”

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[☼ Sunstorm]

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[atrb=background,http://i899.photobucket.com/albums/ac192/fireb4ashes/Arabesque-MIDDLE.jpg] ‘But the larger breed doesn’t have to rule. One thing I will say for Arabia- she knows how to breed fighters.’ I disagreed with the first statement, yet I wholeheartedly agreed with the last bit. “Ah, yes, that she does,” I replied, though this agreement did nothing to dissolve my anger. It was still very much there, and the argument was continuing. I typically enjoyed this type of dispute, but not today. Not when it hit too close to home. My mind was reeling as she seemed to inwardly explode and spit out a long, streaming speech. ‘And you see only the faults of these shores. Women are treated like dirt in Arabia. We- both male and female- must scratch out a living from the sand, scavenging and fighting for water. This island is a place of plenty, and a place where people can be different. If I believed that I could not be equal to anyone else on this island, I would leave. But I believe, for all the blood shed here, for all the cruelty here, there is good. This whole island- this is a place for people to start over. This is the Jazira min Ithnan Bakht, the island of second chances. And since you love your country so much, I would guess that perhaps you did not leave it willingly, which means this is a second chance for you as well.’ The slight phrase in our native tongue tugged at a muscle in my heart, clouding my eyes all the more, but I was still able to digest the meaning of her words. I did not like them, and immediately I wanted to regurgitate them, but it was too late. A part of me had already accepted that this was my second chance. I was going to form a new life with Shyne. But in the fact of this argument, I refused to acknowledge this in front of her. “There was good there as well. It may have been hard to spot, but it was no less sparse as this land here.” I refused to believe that this land was any better than the one I treasured. Both had their glorious attributes and their devastating faults. When I snapped, when I was pushed to my breaking point and over the edge, it seemed that she had been pushed off the edge as well. I caught that in her voice, and recognized the tone; if I had turned, I be I would have seen her eyes shining not only with emotion, but the products of that emotion. I continued to clench my jaw, very angry, and very frustrated. ‘And you know nothing of what I have lived! I watched my mother beaten by my father. I watched her turn mad from longing to get away! I nearly went mad myself! And when I attempted to leave, to find a better place, my father sent a man after me to catch me and beat me and… and... take me against my will, and I lived in constant fear! That is all I ever had in the desert. That is all I ever lived, and unlike your woman, there was no one to suffer for me. My mother was insane- she never saw, and I never let her see. At least your woman had someone to care for her, someone who loved her and hated to watch her suffer.’ I stared out at the sea, but I was not seeing it. My attention was entirely focused on her, even if it appeared otherwise. My throat worked convulsively as it burned, and I fought desperately against the scorching sensation. I knew that such atrocities existed. But the saddest thing? They existed everywhere? I felt highly sympathetic for Kayden; whatever else I had done in my past, never would I have harmed a woman. I had too much honor for that. I could not even imagine what twisted male would have brought such malicious harm to any Arabian woman, and at once I concluded that he had been entirely stripped of any honor he had once possessed. I could see why Kayden resented Arabia as much as she did. I knew how memories impacted a soul. I just could not understand why she was blind to the horrors here. Once again, I state, good and bad exist in both places. I remembered the strength of the bond my tribe had possessed, how caring and delicate the mothers of the children were. Of how my mother was. True, our customs were different, but my personal tribe had not treated the women with evil intent. They’d been respected. Both places had their wars. I had memories of the war I had participated in, of the horrors I’d faced. I remembered my closest friends suffering on the battlefield before they finally, mercifully, met their death. I also remembered the gruesome scenes from this particular island, of wolves torn apart in such awful ways that it was too heart-wrenching to repeat. I remembered hearing of the war between the two brothers, of the family so twisted that it was a sad story. So, in the end, how were either different? I could not see it. “I sympathize for your former situation. The male you speak of has absolutely no honor, and is a disgrace to our nation.” I turned my eyes back on her to make a point. “But he does not represent all of us.” And I hoped that she understood. Her next speech lifted a considerable weight from my shoulders, one that I had never been made aware of. It had manifested itself without my knowledge, yet the second it disentangled itself from my body, I knew what I had been hauling about this whole time. She painted beautiful pictures in my mind, and my body slowly released the tension it had been holding since she had arrived. Perhaps even longer before that. Now she was sharing her experiences, and that’s what I’d wanted from the beginning. One of her descriptions was the most satisfying, and it was the one of the stars spackled across the endless stretch of sky. Adara and I had lay side by side, watching the sky move as the long hours passed and as we had our long conversations. What I would give in order to revisit those nights. And then she painted new pictures, ones that I had seen much more recently. They were of the island, of things that I had noted as beautiful, but also dismissed as inferior to my previous home. In due time, I would appreciate these things far more than I had before, but for the moment, I did nothing more than acknowledge the beauty she found. Two places, so very difference in custom and appearance. Yet both were breathtaking. ‘My name is Kayden al Howaitat, daughter of Serra al Abbadi, shaman of the Dhi’ib tribe. I’m here to help out. I might not look like much, but as you’ve seen, I come with enough fight to keep my opponents busy.’ So she wanted to join our ranks. This was not a matter for me to decide, and recalling the protocols I had once lived and breathed, I realized that. I should summon Serena. But, for a fleeting moment, I wondered what I would do if I had been in a position of authority. Would I send her away? Or would I accept her? I did not know the answer, and this astounded me. “Serena must see you, then, if that is your choice.” I paused for a moment, continuing with my deep breaths. They were unnecessary now; I’d calmed down. It’d been her memories that had soothed my own, as strange as that might be. “Shall I take you further into the territory?” I only assumed that this was what I was supposed to do. I doubted that my calls would summon Serena, not when she was so particularly busy. It’d be best to travel to the heart of the territory in order to find her. Ooc:// I am LOVING this thread! I’m finding out so many things about Arabesque that I never knew. I’m pretty much writing his history as I roleplay him. So I really don’t know anything but a rough outline of what he’s been through…If that makes any sense? xD

[Aylenni]

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[atrb=background,http://i55.tinypic.com/30w71ae.jpg] Her words didn’t seem to do much. The male still stood with his jaw clenched and his stance angry. ”There was good there as well. It may have been hard to spot, but it was no less sparse as this land here,”

[/i] he said stubbornly. Kayden shook her head but said nothing. She didn’t know how else to get through to this male, and at that point, she wasn’t sure she wanted to. He looked out at the sea, his eyes clouded over. She followed his gaze out to the water, frozen some distance out of the bay. The waters past that were choppy and gray, a final blow of winter’s fierce battering. The peaks of the waves reminded Kayden of the desert in the midst of a storm; when the desert spinners moved over the hills of sand, the tiny grains moved like so much water. Kayden remembered when she had gone in search of a spinner shortly after her mother had left.

Kayden wanted to die. There was nothing left for her in life. There was nothing left at all, and she was sick to death of trying to find something. Her mother had been the only bright spot, fading as the months went by and she delved further and further into her madness. ”Take me!” Kayden cried, running toward the spinner. ”I don’t want to live anymore!” It was one of the few times she had cried. Tears streamed down her face, her breath coming in heaving sobs. The spinner changed course, heading for the small young wolf. Kayden stopped running and waited for it. She offered up a final prayer to the desert spirits. ”I disobeyed Your rules,” she said. ”I broke Your laws. Give me my punishment now. Kill me for what I have done.” The spinner was so close. Five feet and drawing closer by the second. Kayden closed her eyes. No one said she had to watch her death. At least she was dying standing up. A whisper passed over her. Kayden could feel the sting of the sand, like fire on her skin. The wind battered at her fur, jerking her to and fro, but her feet did not leave the ground. Then it was over. Kayden waited a moment, stunned, and opened her eyes. In front of her was a solid wall of spinning sand. Behind her was a solid wall of spinning sand, and to her right and left. She stood in the center of the storm, undisturbed. ”I… do not understand,” she whispered quietly. ”I offered myself to You- why would You not take me?” Whether it was the wind or her imagination or truly the voice of the Spirits Kayden would never know, but it seemed to her then that a voice reached down through the swirling column of sand and wind to her. ”You have not yet done as We ask of you,” said the whisper. It sounded like Kayden’s own voice, and she blinked, confused. ”What? I don’t-” she began, but the voice spoke again. ”It is not yet your time to die, little one. We have more to ask of you than to endure this. Follow Serra’s steps to the island and carry Our strength to their shores. They shall need it, before the end.” With that, the sand of the storm engulfed Kayden once again, and this time she did not have time to close her eyes. In the split second before the sand stung her eyes, Kayden could have sworn she saw another wolf, one whose fur shone like the sun, with eyes like the stars. Later, Kayden would believe she had seen and been spoken to by one of the desert spirits. If the stories were to be believed, then all the spirits spoke through one, who came down to the wolves to carry the spirit’s Word. But what Kayden had not expected, of all things, was for the messenger to be… female…

Kayden blinked, brought back to the present with a cold winter wind. ”I sympathize for your former situation. The male you speak of has absolutely no honor, and is a disgrace to our nation. But he does not represent all of us,” the male was saying. Kayden shook herself a little to make sure she was firmly embedded in the present again. ”Maybe… maybe things were different for you, on the other side of our country,” she said quietly, ”but where I come from, it was not so out of the ordinary. I am much relieved to hear it is not this way everywhere.” She avoided his eyes. She was still rather dazed by the memories. Kayden had no idea if the Spirits had ever appeared to another before. She knew their Word was still enforced very zealously, but she had never met a wolf who claimed to have heard them for themselves. And for a Spirit to appear to a woman broke every one of their laws. Kayden cleared her throat. ”Do you still go by the old ways?” she asked quietly. ”Were your people ruled by the Word of the desert spirits?” For some reason, Kayden felt that she had to know, had to speak about her encounter with someone who understood. Had it been any other desert male, she would have flat-out refused to even entertain the idea of sharing her vision, but this one… this one was like nothing she had encountered of his kind before.

When she told him about her desire to join the Warriors, he seemed to be reluctant for a brief second. ”Serena must see you, then, if that is your choice. Shall I take you further into the territory?”
Kayden nodded. ”Yes, please,” she said quietly. She looked briefly toward the west, toward where she knew Auburn would be. Her heart ached, but to follow him would go against both her principals and the Word, and she knew enough not to fool around with either one. ”I came all this way to give my allegiance to Serena and her Warriors- I don’t mean to leave without having done that, and the war finished besides.” The words stung coming out. They were the truth, but they were the kind of truth that hurt to admit. Kayden had told everyone else on the island that she’d come to find her mother, but it wasn’t true. She’d come to do the will of the Spirits. In her heart, Kayden knew she would never be able to find Serra. The poor mad woman was probably already dead and gone, and with her most of Kayden’s fond memories of Arabia. But, thought Kayden, looking over at the male, maybe there was good after all, and I was just too discontent to see it.

OOC: I know what you mean! I had a rough idea of Kayden’s history, but until this thread I wasn’t really sure about anything! It’s like I’m discovering her as I’m writing her.

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